Thursday, March 7, 2013
Bar Tables
Bar tables is a strange furniture category for residential homes. I've never been over to anyone's house where they have a really small table with matching chairs so we can be so close I can smell what they had for lunch on their breath. Bar tables are a good idea in restaurants and bars where they are trying to save space and the noise level necessitates the close proximity to your friend who is trying hard not to notice you are on a man date with them. But for the average
apartment there's not enough room for a dining table, kitchen table and then
a a separate bar table.
Home Office Furniture
I was looking at houses a few years back and I always like to start by looking in the 2 to 5 million range. Not that I can afford it but I like to see how the other 1% lives. What I found out is that people are successful at different times in their lives and they do a few things during those times. First thing they do is build a big house, second thing they do is build an office and a bar inside the house. I bet if you look inside most of the big houses in your area they have home offices and inside they have home office furniture. Since the people that are selling the houses are usually older empty nesters, they decorated their homes years ago. You can see some wonderfully dated offices that look like some lawyer from the 80s was really feeling good about wood paneling.
Desks
What office space would be complete without a desk. I guess an office space that never had a plan for a desk would be complete. I always have this vision that people are now working at home on IPads, sitting on the couch, having a hard time time typing. I wonder what the average speed per minute typing is now that smart phones and pads are coming into style. I remember my typing class in high school, I got a terrible grade but computers really weren't out yet. My room mate in college had one, he had one chess game on it and a word processor connected to a dot matrix printer. The printer was so loud that you could hear it 3 apartments away. Sounded like a machine gun.
Bedroom Sets
I was on a plane to somewhere and the lady next to me was looking at this big ad for weight loss. The ad basically said "lose weight and you can wear matching undergarments." I asked her if that was important and she said "Oh yes, women don't like to wear different colored bras and underwear." So I learned something. I guess the same could be said for bedroom sets, who wants a mirror that doesn't match the head board or foot board? Which gets me to thinking, what would a platform bed look like with gigantic 1970s oaky end tables with those curled brass handle pulls. Awful I bet. I probably wouldn't be making any magazine covers.
Beds
This guy I know was a newly divorced dater. First thing he did when he rented a house was put a pool table in the living room. Pool seems like such an old game now, who even plays it? Bars should have big Microsoft Surface tables where people can get drunk and play Minecraft together. It would be like being at home, but out. If you think about this guy's pool table in his living room though, it was like he was out but he was in his home. Maybe I'm just coming up with ways to still do the things you like without talking to anyone. Anyway, in his bedroom he had a mattress on the floor of each room and no beds. I was thinking that the women that he was going to be dating, probably in their 40s, aren't going to want to hang out with a guy that sleeps on the floor. I believe that women at least want a normal bedroom.
Bedroom Furniture
My first college mattress was my mattress from my home. I had no bedroom furniture except the bed frame that was under the mattress and box springs. I had slept on the same mattress from the ages of like 4 to when I was around 25. All of the accidents, all of the college dates, all on that bedroom furniture. Thinking about that now, that's totally gross. For everyone involved. When I finally moved into an apartment I chucked the mattress and stole someone's futon where I ended up sleeping on the floor because I didn't steal the frame. And to those people that called me and I denied stealing it, yeah I did it. I also made you feel bad about asking me. I'm not a terrible person I was just broke.
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